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The Sickest Buddhist [Warning: Explicit Lyrics]

This first time I saw this funny video, it cracked me up. Partly because I recognized some of my own unconscious tendencies in it and knew I needed to give myself and others a break. And also because it really highlights one of the greatest challenges of spiritual development.

See, as most people go through the path of deeper self-knowledge, there's usually a special "I'm so spiritual" phase that arises. It's part of what happens when there's a gap between what we know (or think we know), and what we live. Or to phrase it in the context of my email from last week: The difference between realization and actualization.

Many people develop an "all knowing" attitude as a result of having deeper realizations that they have not yet actualized into their own lives.

The result is actually quite interesting. It creates an "enlightened" version of the Inner Critic. Instead of judging others as bad/good, it judges them (and ourselves) in the context of how "spiritual" we are. Sometimes the voice is very loud and obvious, and sometimes it's brief and subtle. Either way, the voice is fundamentally the same though: the Inner Critic is trying to "spiritualize" us and pump up our egos so we don't have to accept the fact that we don't live what we believe or know to be true.

Today's short music video "The Sickest Buddhist" brings this point home in a very clear and candid way. However,

I MUST WARN YOU…

There's a lot of profanity in this video, so if that offends you then don't watch it.

If you take your spiritual path too seriously, you'll also be offended. Don't watch it.
flickspire - The Sickest Buddhist

The Sickest Buddhist
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‘The Sickest Buddhist’ Lyrics

by Arj Barker

Female Friend: Hey baby, where you at?

Arj: I’m still at the ashram.

Female Friend: How’s it going?

Arj: It’s going killer. The instructor just told us to do a 45 minute meditation.

Female Friend: Really?

Arj: I nailed it in 10!

Female Friend: No way!

Arj: Owned!

I’m the illest Buddhist you’ve ever seen.
All the ladies wanna meditate with me.
I look so serene when I bust a lotus,
But I don’t have an ego so I wouldn’t even notice.

I think of you before I think of myself.
That’s probably why people think I’m so chill,
But still I’m hell of intense.
My clothes have little bells and they smell like incense.

It’s so dope when I focus on my breath,
Cause I floss all the time and I chew big red.
I don’t smoke weed but I burn sage by the pound…
Wave it all around til the air turns brown.

I’m all krunked up on kombucha and juice.
Never heard of Kama Sutra? Let me introduce!
Step in to my hybrid, we’ll head over to my bed.
64 positions I think you’re gonna like it.

[CHORUS]

One hand clapping, fuck that yo.
More like the sound of a one-legged standing O!
I’m blowin’ up the dharma like what?
Cause I’m the sickest Buddhist and I’m kickin Buddha butt

One hand clapping, fuck that yo.
More like the sound of a one-legged standing O!
I’m blowin up the dharma like what?
Cause I’m the sickest Buddhist and I’m kickin Buddha butt

[END CHORUS]

I just went to the class for a laugh…
Maybe meet some chicks.
But as it comes to pass,
I kick ass at this pacifist shit.

Non-attachment I just mastered it.
You don’t believe me? You don’t think I’m peaceful?
Step up to my face and say that bitch!
I’ll non-attach your teeth from your lips.

I practice compassion towards friends and enemies,
But all these motherfuckers trying to hate on my serenity.

[FEMALES]

He’s so spiritual
So unmaterial
Almost ethereal
Eats organic cereal
His aura is so bright
His chakras are so tight
His energy is light
His hair is so right

He’s so sweet and Buddhist… Uuunh

[END FEMALES]

Is it my Indian roots?
My Guatemalan pair of shoes?
My extensive collection of expensive Tibetan flutes?
I don’t know how or why I’m so Zen,
I make the “Power of Now” look like the power of then.

To hell with Dr Phil, Oprah and Martha.
I chill with Eckhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra and Siddhartha.
Buddha taught me to be humble and kind,
But I’m so fuckin’ present I’m like ahead of my time.

Enlightenment eludes most ’til they die,
But I opened my third eye on my first try.
Why? I don’t know I guess I’m just the bomb.
When it comes to modesty I got it goin’ on.

[CHORUS]

One hand clapping, fuck that yo.
More like the sound of a one-legged standing O!
I’m blowin up the dharma like what?
Cause I’m the sickest Buddhist and I’m kickin Buddha butt

One hand clapping, fuck that yo.
More like the sound of a one-legged standing O!
I’m blowin up the dharma like what?